Should I adopt? Two unspoken fears about adoption
A mother reflects on having enough money and love for adoption.
Adoption can be scary, I am not going to lie.
Every fear I had was magnified during our adoption process, but I learned I cannot be controlled by my fears. If I had let that happen, we would have completely missed out on the joy we now have. The best things don’t come easily. Overcoming our fears and diving in was worth it.
That said, two of my fears about adoption were biggies: money and love.
Will I have enough money?
It’s the question no one wants to ask. Because if we ask that, we seem insensitive, right? As we began exploring adoption, this question froze me. I run a money-saving blog! The thought of putting all that financial pressure on our family took my breath away. Adoption costs within the U.S. — including travel, attorneys’ fees and more — can reach $30,000 and higher. I had no doubt that adoption was our path. Still, I felt choked by the financial noose around my neck.
I learned that there are many ways to fund adoptions. It’s common for families to find some creative financial strategies, such as piecing together money raised from several fundraising projects. Funding an adoption project is a wonderful way for people to feel they are helping their community.
We did a Both Hands project, an idea based on the Bible verse James 1:27 that serves a widow to bring home an orphan. We found a widow in need of help around her home. We gathered about 20 friends who wrote letters to everyone they knew to sponsor them in return for working on the woman’s home. The pledges they collected went toward adopting our son, whom we brought home in July 2014 shortly after his birth.
Our wonderful team raised $23,000. Most of the families that participated attend our church. Every week when my little man and I see them in the church halls, I remember that they helped bring him home. That is a gift I can never repay, nor forget. But it has greatly impacted them as well. Their children talk about “that project to bring the Hancocks’ baby home” and tell us how they will adopt one day.
Will I have enough love?
Before we adopted, we already had two biological children. I adore them with every part of me and would do anything for them. At one point, I wondered, how in the world could I possibly love someone else as much as these little people who are my flesh? But just as I adore my husband, who is not my flesh, I completely fell in love with this sweet child put into my arms. It’s like nothing I have ever experienced.
Talk to any adoptive family, and you will find that their new addition has changed their family forever and inspired love beyond what they thought was their capacity.
We are made to love. And children were made to be loved. So, that’s it.
This post was written by Kelly Hancock, who founded the popular money-saving blog, FaithfulProvisions.com, where she shares her practical approach to cost-cutting and her generous view on giving back. She is the author of “Saving Savvy” and also advocates for orphans around the world. She’s traveled to Ecuador with Operation Christmas Child and to Nicaragua with Compassion International.